FocusCanada Forums

LOL they emailed me this at work today..

The resume bloopers
These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.

19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

22. Marital status: often. Children: various.

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

if i saw that on a resume it would be filed in the third pile, the paper shreader.

Try marking papers like that or reading emails and/or submissions put forth by 'professionals'. Marks come flying off the papers. Credibility of the individual steadily decreases.

Some people have become too dependent on spell-checkers that they don't think about what they write.

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

nothing is wrong with this one, its a personal preference....



Goals: to take over the world... we hired the guy.

GapBoyPCS,Feb 17 2006, 07:35 PM Wrote:Try marking papers like that or reading emails and/or submissions put forth by 'professionals'. Marks come flying off the papers. Credibility of the individual steadily decreases.

Some people have become too dependent on spell-checkers that they don't think about what they write.
[right][snapback]171142[/snapback][/right]

Oh I could tell you horror stories of communications (letters/e-mails) I've received from lawyers in my job that wouldn't pass muster in a grade seven english class NVM a supposed university graduate <_<

NefCanuck

i cant tell you how many times people have dropped off resumé's which have said:

Work Experience:
NO EXPERIENCE

or have university graduates who had management jobs, yet they still manage to piut spelling errors in their resume and cant even spell their name right.

paolo,Feb 17 2006, 10:52 PM Wrote:i cant tell you how many times people have dropped off resumé's which have said:

Work Experience:
NO EXPERIENCE

or have university graduates who had management jobs, yet they still manage to piut spelling errors in their resume and cant even spell their name right.
[right][snapback]171195[/snapback][/right]

Practice what thy preach..