12-22-2006, 07:44 AM
>THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
>
>My tire was thumping
>I thought it was flat
>When I looked at the tire...
>I noticed your cat.
>Sorry!
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Heard your wife left you,
>How upset you must be.
>But don't fret about it...
>She moved in with me.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Looking back over the years
>that we've been together,
>I can't help but wonder...
>
>"What the hell was I thinking?"
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Congratulations on your wedding day!
>
>Too bad no one likes your husband.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>How could two people as beautiful as you
>
>Have such an ugly baby?
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I've always wanted to have
>someone to hold,
>someone to love
>After having met you ..
>
>I've changed my mind.
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>I must admit,
>you brought Religion into my life.
>
>I never believed in Hell
>until I met you.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>As the days go by,
>I think of how lucky I am...
>That you're not here
>to ruin it for me
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
>Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
>You'll probably need it again.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>Happy Birthday,
>
>Uncle Dad!
>(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
>Happy birthday!
>You look great for your age.
>
>Almost Lifelike!
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>When we were together,
>you always said you'd die for me.
>Now that we've broken up,
>I think it's time you kept your promise.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>We have been friends for a very long time...
>
>let's say we stop?
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>I'm so miserable without you
>it's almost like you're here.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------
>Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
>Did you ever find out who the father was?
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------
>Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
>birthday...
>
>So we're having you put to sleep.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>So your daughter's a hooker,
>and it spoiled your day.
>
>Look at the bright side, it's really good pay!!!
>
>
>
>Enjoy and Merry HOHO!!
>
>My tire was thumping
>I thought it was flat
>When I looked at the tire...
>I noticed your cat.
>Sorry!
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Heard your wife left you,
>How upset you must be.
>But don't fret about it...
>She moved in with me.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Looking back over the years
>that we've been together,
>I can't help but wonder...
>
>"What the hell was I thinking?"
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Congratulations on your wedding day!
>
>Too bad no one likes your husband.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>How could two people as beautiful as you
>
>Have such an ugly baby?
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I've always wanted to have
>someone to hold,
>someone to love
>After having met you ..
>
>I've changed my mind.
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>I must admit,
>you brought Religion into my life.
>
>I never believed in Hell
>until I met you.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>As the days go by,
>I think of how lucky I am...
>That you're not here
>to ruin it for me
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
>Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
>You'll probably need it again.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>Happy Birthday,
>
>Uncle Dad!
>(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
>Happy birthday!
>You look great for your age.
>
>Almost Lifelike!
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>When we were together,
>you always said you'd die for me.
>Now that we've broken up,
>I think it's time you kept your promise.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>We have been friends for a very long time...
>
>let's say we stop?
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>I'm so miserable without you
>it's almost like you're here.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------
>Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
>Did you ever find out who the father was?
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------
>Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
>birthday...
>
>So we're having you put to sleep.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>So your daughter's a hooker,
>and it spoiled your day.
>
>Look at the bright side, it's really good pay!!!
>
>
>
>Enjoy and Merry HOHO!!