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+--- Thread: Resume Tips (/showthread.php?tid=10837)
Resume Tips - ZX3TUNR - 02-16-2006
LOL they emailed me this at work today..
The resume bloopers
These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:
1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.
3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.
7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.
13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.
22. Marital status: often. Children: various.
23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.
26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
Resume Tips - FocusGuy7476 - 02-16-2006
if i saw that on a resume it would be filed in the third pile, the paper shreader.
Resume Tips - GapBoyPCS - 02-18-2006
Try marking papers like that or reading emails and/or submissions put forth by 'professionals'. Marks come flying off the papers. Credibility of the individual steadily decreases.
Some people have become too dependent on spell-checkers that they don't think about what they write.
Resume Tips - french_connection - 02-18-2006
23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
nothing is wrong with this one, its a personal preference....
Goals: to take over the world... we hired the guy.
Resume Tips - NefCanuck - 02-18-2006
GapBoyPCS,Feb 17 2006, 07:35 PM Wrote:Try marking papers like that or reading emails and/or submissions put forth by 'professionals'. Marks come flying off the papers. Credibility of the individual steadily decreases.
Some people have become too dependent on spell-checkers that they don't think about what they write.
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Oh I could tell you horror stories of communications (letters/e-mails) I've received from lawyers in my job that wouldn't pass muster in a grade seven english class NVM a supposed university graduate <_<
NefCanuck
Resume Tips - paolo - 02-18-2006
i cant tell you how many times people have dropped off resumé's which have said:
Work Experience:
NO EXPERIENCE
or have university graduates who had management jobs, yet they still manage to piut spelling errors in their resume and cant even spell their name right.
Resume Tips - Phantom - 02-18-2006
paolo,Feb 17 2006, 10:52 PM Wrote:i cant tell you how many times people have dropped off resumé's which have said:Practice what thy preach..
Work Experience:
NO EXPERIENCE
or have university graduates who had management jobs, yet they still manage to piut spelling errors in their resume and cant even spell their name right.
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