Quote:From motor honey to the 100-mpg carburetor, we've all heard about and sometimes paid good money for auto gadgets that don't work as advertised.

Or don't work at all.

Here are some top contenders in the money-waster Hall of Shame:

Deer whistles--Glue one to your car's fender, and an ultrasonic signal only deer can hear is created by the flow of air over the device as you drive, alerting deer to your oncoming presence and, hopefully, keeping them from jumping through your windshield. The problem is there's no evidence deer whistles actually work. Maybe tacking one to the fender of your Aztek will improve its good looks, but it's doubtful it'll repel Bambi.

Fuel system "energizer" or "vitalizer" or some such high-tech sounding name--Usually nothing more than a hollow tube that's supposed to improve fuel economy by energizing the fuel molecules so they burn more efficiently. Some use magnets; some don't. None has ever been shown to improve fuel economy. Buy one if you think it would make a neat amulet.

Engine (or transmission) rebuild in a can--Who needs a mechanic when you can just pour in the fix, right? Wrong. That goop you pour into the engine may cut down on the clouds of blue smoke pouring out of the tailpipe or quiet the death rattle of worn out bearings for just long enough to unload the car on some poor sucker. But the fix is more like a cover-up and can actually accelerate the final end by increasing friction within the engine, a side effect of the heavy glop you just poured into the thing.

Air intake "vortex" or "tornado"--It looks like a gerbil wheel and supposedly increases airflow (and thus engine power) by creating "vortexes" in the air intake system. All this product really does is create a vortex that sucks money out of your wallet and routes it directly to the company that sold you this rip-off. In fact, independent testing of these devices has found they actually lower horsepower and hurt fuel economy by creating excess turbulence or impeding airflow into the engine.

"Cathodic" rust prevention--This one's really sly because the process does work in certain industrial applications. Basically, a flow of charged electrons is used to prevent oxidation (rust) from eating away at things like buried pipelines and seagoing ships. But for the CP process to work, there must be a complete circuit. In the case of a ship, this is provided by contact with seawater; in the case of pipelines, by contact with the soil. But your car is insulated from the ground by its tires, and the only way for the process to work would be to drive it into the ocean or bury it in the ground. There have been lawsuits in both the U.S. and Canada to keep these products from being sold for use in automotive application because they work about as well as a pet rock.

There are many other gizmos on the market that don't work. Beware of any product that makes claims for itself that sound too good to be true. In virtually every case, they are, and you end up wasting your money on a useless piece of junk that does nothing to make your car more efficient or more powerful. Comment on this article in the Automobile Forum.

ANTHONYD,Jan 6 2006, 04:17 PM Wrote:I know a certain Fuktard's Focus that has deer whistles.
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ANTHONYD,Jan 6 2006, 04:17 PM Wrote:I know a certain Fuktard's Focus that has deer whistles.
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darkpuppet,Jan 6 2006, 04:33 PM Wrote:

ANTHONYD,Jan 6 2006, 04:17 PM Wrote:I know a certain Fuktard's Focus that has deer whistles.
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rhumor has it that asian shiatsu sex workers have sensitive hearing that draws them to the sound deer whistles make. That car is a rolling rub 'n tug.
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PerfectSaiyan,Jan 10 2006, 03:30 AM Wrote:TURBONATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


just thought id say that.


never heard of a deer whistle, but people stick deer horns in their car, those work dont they?
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