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Mental Hospital Phone Menu - Printable Version

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Mental Hospital Phone Menu - Scorcher000 - 10-09-2008

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent,please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,

stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and

your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully

and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up.

Itdoesn't matter which number you press,

nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep

or before the beep or after the beep.

But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.

Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down,

hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.

You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.

You'll just mess it up.

This coming week is

National Mental Health Careweek.

You can do your part by remembering

to contact at least

one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done . Your turn!!)



Mental Hospital Phone Menu - Canadian ST - 10-09-2008

Yep I had the same audio message on my old compnay cell phone, it pissed my boss off to no end...brilliant.


Mental Hospital Phone Menu - Focus man. Focus. - 10-09-2008

I am still waiting for someone to call me back.....


Mental Hospital Phone Menu - Canadian ST - 10-09-2008

^^Hello....


Mental Hospital Phone Menu - NOS2Go4Me - 10-10-2008

I'd send that to more than a few people I know :rolleyes:


Mental Hospital Phone Menu - meford4u - 10-10-2008

NOS2Go4Me,Oct 9 2008, 10:45 AM Wrote:I'd send that to more than a few people I know :rolleyes:
[right][snapback]274268[/snapback][/right]
Your first in line


Mental Hospital Phone Menu - NefCanuck - 10-10-2008

meford4u,Oct 9 2008, 03:15 PM Wrote:
NOS2Go4Me,Oct 9 2008, 10:45 AM Wrote:I'd send that to more than a few people I know :rolleyes:
[right][snapback]274268[/snapback][/right]
Your first in line
[right][snapback]274300[/snapback][/right]

...says the head inmate at the asylum :lol:

NefCanuck