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Computer Problems & Customer Service
#1
This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Help line which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say,
the Help Desk employee was fired however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer support employee (now I
know why they record these conversations) starts here:


Employee --"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

Customer --" Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Employee --"What sort of trouble?"

Customer --" Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Employee --" Went away?"

Customer --" They disappeared."

Employee --"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer --" Nothing."

Employee --"Nothing?"

Customer --" It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Employee --"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer--" How do I tell?"

Employee --"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"

Customer --" What is a sea prompt?"

Employee --"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen? "

Customer--" There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Employee --"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer--" What's a monitor?"

Employee --"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer --" I don't know."

Employee --"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer--" Yes, I think so."

Employee --"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer --" Yes, it is."

Employee --"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer--" No."

Employee --"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer --" Okay, here it is."

Employee --"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer. "

Customer --" I can't reach."

Employee --"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer --" No."

Employee --"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer --" Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

Employee --"Dark?"

Customer --" Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Employee --"Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer--" I can't."

Employee --" No? Why not?"

Customer--" Because there's a power failure."

Employee --"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer--" Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Employee --"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer--" Really? Is it that bad?"

Employee --"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer--" Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Employee --"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Focus man, Focus........ Team Psychological Disaster
2008 Taurus X to be modded.
2002 ZX5 parted out. Forever known as the "SLOCUS".

2010 Dyno #'s 102.96HP/105.84TQ
2011 Dyno #'s 111.44HP/115.17TQ
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Dial 1-800-AUTO-PARTS for your local speed shop.
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#2
Definately an oldy but a goody!

Everytime I read this, i nearly piss myself laughing, because thats exactly the mentality that I have to deal with every day.
The new: 2013 Tangerine Scream ST
The old: 2005 ZX4 - MBRP 2.25", Marcy Motorsport CAI. SCT Tuning, Eibach Pro-System
--
Team PITA
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#3
Just wait for all the fun Vista will be bringing to the enterprise! I can hardly wait. We've got some test machines in right now and so far... we are NOT amused.
Daily driver 1: 2007 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport "S"

33" BFG Mud-Terrain KM2s, lots of Rough Country gear - bumper, 2.5" lift, swaybar disconnects, Superwinch 10,000lb winch, Detroit Locker in rear D44 axle, custom exhaust, K+N filtercharger, Superchips-tuned.

Daily driver 2: 2006 Subaru Legacy GT

COBB Stage 1+ package - AccessPort tuner, COBB intake and airbox. Stage 2 coming shortly - COBB 3" AT stainless DP and race cat, custom 3" Magnaflow-based exhaust and Stage 2 COBB tune.
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#4
typical call center discussion , some ppl most are really that dumb
Ford Focus SES ZX5
Blue Underglow, Clear Corners, Shorty antenna, vogtland springs , Rust Module,Truebendz 2.5 ss magnaflow and Fuzion 205/50/16 HRI's
TEAM DURATEC # 99
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