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Why Lawyers Are Scum
#1
Okay, I had a rather stomache churning experience yesterday while representing a client at a hearing and thought I'd share it with you all as yet more proof that lawyers are scum <_<

I'm representing a client, defending against a landlord's application to evict them, claiming that they "assaulted" the landlords staff. The other sides lawyer pulls me aside and asks me "What is your defense to my client's claim?" I lay my cards out, this makes him pause and he scuttles off to speak to the landlord. So he says "Let's mediate (settle) this out"

So off we all go to the mediation room, where everything is off the record. Everything proceeds as it should but near the end, before everyone signs off on the deal we've crafted, he gets into a finger waving snit against my client, ranting and raving that my client "called the landlord's employee names" and asking me how I would like it if someone did that to me as I'm trying to point out that name calling isn't an evictable offense.

This is where I shot off my mouth and stopped him cold (with the landlord's rep. in the room)

N.B. I am physically disabled and it is very visable.

My response: "Mr. _____ I've been called derogatory names since I was able to understand words, everything from 'cripple to fag' and everything in between. I was always taught to walk away because wortds are just that, words" That shut him up real quick and the deal was signed without further incident.

I got back to my office later and found out that this is in fact standard practice for this sleazy creep and I was apparently the first one to call him on it.

If I was actually a full lawyer myself, I would be calling the Law Society on his @$$, as it is, he's just lost any credibilty he had :angry:

Sometimes I think Shakespeare was right... KILL AL THE LAWYERS!

NefCanuck
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#2
Fuel for the fire, man... fuel for the fire.
Daily driver 1: 2007 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport "S"

33" BFG Mud-Terrain KM2s, lots of Rough Country gear - bumper, 2.5" lift, swaybar disconnects, Superwinch 10,000lb winch, Detroit Locker in rear D44 axle, custom exhaust, K+N filtercharger, Superchips-tuned.

Daily driver 2: 2006 Subaru Legacy GT

COBB Stage 1+ package - AccessPort tuner, COBB intake and airbox. Stage 2 coming shortly - COBB 3" AT stainless DP and race cat, custom 3" Magnaflow-based exhaust and Stage 2 COBB tune.
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#3
I know what you mean. The 1st time I've ever had to deal with a lawyer (not threaten to use them :P ) was for the house.

We just got the bill detailing everything yesterday.

$250 for phototcopies????
$150 for review of documents????

Frig, I talked to the lawyer....honestly...TOTAL of 20 minutes, MAYBE. A few 2 minutes on the phone here, another 5 minute convo there....etc.

The bill was over $1500 and Im told that is a sweet price for closing costs. :blink:

Good price? What the f*** did he do for that money? :lol:
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#4
LAWYERS ARE CROOKS.
bottom line.


Ours charged us 100 bucks for photocopies and faxes too.

Robbery.
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#5
I'm lucky enough that I haven't really had to deal with any lawyers. Hope that trend continues.
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#6
Flofocus,Jun 21 2006, 01:48 PM Wrote:I know what you mean.  The 1st time I've ever had to deal with a lawyer (not threaten to use them  :P ) was for the house.

We just got the bill detailing everything yesterday.

$250 for phototcopies????
$150 for review of documents????

Frig, I talked to the lawyer....honestly...TOTAL of 20 minutes, MAYBE.  A few 2 minutes on the phone here, another 5 minute convo there....etc.

The bill was over $1500 and Im told that is a sweet price for closing costs. :blink:

Good price?  What the f*** did he do for that money?  :lol:
[right][snapback]194458[/snapback][/right]

The "big city" got you there, Nate. We closed for well under $1,.000 in lawyer fees, and that included title insurance. As long as you're happy with everything... that's cool tho.
Daily driver 1: 2007 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport "S"

33" BFG Mud-Terrain KM2s, lots of Rough Country gear - bumper, 2.5" lift, swaybar disconnects, Superwinch 10,000lb winch, Detroit Locker in rear D44 axle, custom exhaust, K+N filtercharger, Superchips-tuned.

Daily driver 2: 2006 Subaru Legacy GT

COBB Stage 1+ package - AccessPort tuner, COBB intake and airbox. Stage 2 coming shortly - COBB 3" AT stainless DP and race cat, custom 3" Magnaflow-based exhaust and Stage 2 COBB tune.
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#7
All of my freinds paid over 2k for closing costs, guess thats why they say I got a good deal. But what I think saved me is all the rebates and stuff waived for building completely new.
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#8
I was charged $75 for 2 legal copies and 1 8.5" X 11"

The there should be a law. But that would just lead to further charges. Damm those catch 22's.
Focus man, Focus........ Team Psychological Disaster
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#9
Focus man, Focus.,Jun 21 2006, 03:26 PM Wrote:I was charged $75 for 2 legal copies and 1 8.5" X 11"

The there should be a law.  But that would just lead to further charges.  Damm those catch 22's.
[right][snapback]194496[/snapback][/right]

whos gonna write the law?? the people makign money off them already?? fat-cahnce
'05 Grand Cherokee LTD Hemi

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#10
Yes, I agree fully with you that lawyers are scum but they also tend sometimes not to be the smartest either. A friend of mine was hit by a car a couple yrs ago, his leg was broken in 3 places, very long recovery. In court, ICBC's lawyer says half under his breath partway through my friends testimony about his recovery "If you weren't so fat you would have got better a lot faster." The judge immediately awarded my friends case for a higher than originally asked for claim and suggested to sue the lawyer for defamation and harassment, his lawyer agreed to do so at no extra charge just to prove a point, he won that case as well
No name, Cheap and Slutty.

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#11
Flofocus,Jun 21 2006, 12:48 PM Wrote:I know what you mean.  The 1st time I've ever had to deal with a lawyer (not threaten to use them  :P ) was for the house.

We just got the bill detailing everything yesterday.

$250 for phototcopies????
$150 for review of documents????

Frig, I talked to the lawyer....honestly...TOTAL of 20 minutes, MAYBE.  A few 2 minutes on the phone here, another 5 minute convo there....etc.

The bill was over $1500 and Im told that is a sweet price for closing costs. :blink:

Good price?  What the f*** did he do for that money?  :lol:
[right][snapback]194458[/snapback][/right]

Man, I guess I should thank my lucky stars that when I bought the condo in '03 I got charged less than a grand for the whole kit & kaboodle :blink: (course it does help that I was doing that lawyer favours and commissioning docs for him occassionally :P )

NefCanuck
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#12
What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean??
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#13
nass,Jun 21 2006, 07:33 PM Wrote:What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean??
[right][snapback]194569[/snapback][/right]

Q: What do you call a bus load of lawyers going over a cliff?
A: An accident

Q: What do you call a bus with only one lawyer going over a cliff?
A: A god-aweful tragedy

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#14
What do you call 100 lawyers on cell-phones going through a subway?

Vacuum tube.

Why did the lawyer cross the road? Cause the ambulance chaser got clipped by oncoming traffic.

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

We can't comment on matters currently before the courts.
Daily driver 1: 2007 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport "S"

33" BFG Mud-Terrain KM2s, lots of Rough Country gear - bumper, 2.5" lift, swaybar disconnects, Superwinch 10,000lb winch, Detroit Locker in rear D44 axle, custom exhaust, K+N filtercharger, Superchips-tuned.

Daily driver 2: 2006 Subaru Legacy GT

COBB Stage 1+ package - AccessPort tuner, COBB intake and airbox. Stage 2 coming shortly - COBB 3" AT stainless DP and race cat, custom 3" Magnaflow-based exhaust and Stage 2 COBB tune.
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#15
Q: What do Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and an honest lawyer have in common?

A: None of the above EXIST! :rofl:

NefCanuck
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#16
ANTHONYD,Jun 21 2006, 06:02 PM Wrote:LAWYERS ARE CROOKS.
bottom line.


Ours charged us 100 bucks for photocopies and faxes too.

Robbery.
[right][snapback]194465[/snapback][/right]

probably didn't even make the copies himself, heck I'd love to get paid 100 bucks for all the copying that i do.
'03 Focus SVT
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#17
Q: whats the difference between a lawyer and a carp?
A: one is a scum sucking bottom feeder the other is a fish.

Laterz :)
1972 Austin Mini | 1989 Mini30 | 2002 Hyundai Santa Fe GLS
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