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Funny 'cause It's True
#1
FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.................................49.

Adventurous............................Slept with everyone.

Athletic...............................No breasts.

Average looking........................Moooo.

Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure.....................On medication.

Feminist...............................Fat.

Free spirit............................Junkie

Friendship first.......................Former slut.

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned..........................No BJs.

Open-minded............................Desperate.

Outgoing...............................Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional...........................Bitch.

Voluptuous.............................Very Fat.

Large frame............................Hugely Fat.

Wants Soul mate........................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now...

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex now?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay..


2001 Focus ZTS 2004 WRX
"I'm just here for the camping"
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TEAM P.I.T.A. FTW!
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#2
Quote:Wants Soul mate........................Stalker

LMAO true, and funny......
I was the only member on this board with a Yellow Focus Sedan, and a 2002+ Euro Facelift on a sedan.
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#3
Through the eyes of Darkpuppet:

FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.................................I'm in!

Adventurous............................Slept with everyone, and won't sleep with darkpuppet.

Athletic...............................No breasts, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Average looking........................Moooo, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Beautiful..............................Pathological liar, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Emotionally Secure.....................On medication, might date darkpuppet

Feminist...............................Fat, won't date darkpuppet

Free spirit............................Junkie, wants $40 to date darkpuppet

Friendship first.......................Former slut, soon to go back to slutting, but not until darkpuppet get's denied.

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places, darkpuppet no wanna date!

Old-fashioned..........................No BJs, but will sleep with everyone except darkpuppet

Open-minded............................Desperate, but not THAT desperate

Outgoing...............................Loud and Embarrassing, yet still embarrassed by darkpuppet

Professional...........................Bitch, does it make a difference?

Voluptuous.............................Very Fat, only wants dinner.

Large frame............................Hugely Fat, still won't date darkpuppet.

Wants Soul mate........................Stalker, darkpuppet not soulmatey.

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#4
:lol: Great perspectives...
'14 Escape 2.0t
2012 5dr Ti : Traded
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#5
darkpuppet,Jan 19 2006, 09:05 PM Wrote:Through the eyes of Darkpuppet:

FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.................................I'm in!

Adventurous............................Slept  with everyone, and won't sleep with darkpuppet.

Athletic...............................No  breasts, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Average  looking........................Moooo, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Beautiful..............................Pathological  liar, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Emotionally  Secure.....................On  medication, might date darkpuppet

Feminist...............................Fat, won't date darkpuppet

Free  spirit............................Junkie, wants $40 to date darkpuppet

Friendship  first.......................Former slut, soon to go back to slutting, but not until darkpuppet get's denied.

New-Age...........................Body  hair in the wrong places, darkpuppet no wanna date!

Old-fashioned..........................No  BJs, but will sleep with everyone except darkpuppet

Open-minded............................Desperate, but not THAT desperate

Outgoing...............................Loud  and Embarrassing, yet still embarrassed by darkpuppet

Professional...........................Bitch, does it make a difference?

Voluptuous.............................Very  Fat, only wants dinner.

Large  frame............................Hugely  Fat, still won't date darkpuppet.

Wants Soul  mate........................Stalker, darkpuppet not soulmatey.
[right][snapback]165933[/snapback][/right]

I see a pattern there... have some open wounds you want to heal?

we're all here to listen
***want to buy***
MBRP................ check
SCT Xcal2 ........ check
VF mounts
Adj. Dampers ... check
Meford's Mom.... sale pending
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#6
omg thats hilarious, and the DPs is even better, i almost burst out laughing in class in the middle of a presentation.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
'05 Grand Cherokee LTD Hemi

'02 black ZX5 ****currently on jack stands my parents garage missing a transmission****
--FC/OBX 4-2-1 Race Header--FS Flex--MBRP catback exhaust--AEM CAI--Brembo Brakes with Hawk HPS pads--Toucan(ractive) 9mm Plug wires--FC Plug wire cover--Polished aluminum Ractive Strut Bar
Not installed: FK 60/40 Springs
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#7
no, not really, just beating meford to the keyboard is all... :P
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#8
darkpuppet,Jan 19 2006, 04:13 PM Wrote:no, not really, just beating meford to the keyboard is all... :P
[right][snapback]165939[/snapback][/right]


Classic!
05 Altima SE-R
98 Grand Cherokee 5.9: Flowmaster; K&N
05 300C 5.7: Sold
99 Civic SIR: Sold
03 Focus SVT: Sold
01 Focus ZX3: Sold
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#9
Original post: :lol:

DP: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
[Image: ncclogo.jpg]
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#10
You forgot one..

Seeks professional male = you better have money
Seeks companion = I just wanna have sex
Seeks friendship = I want your money, but you get no sex
Seeks younger male = I want to cheat on my husband
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#11
darkpuppet,Jan 19 2006, 05:05 PM Wrote:Through the eyes of Darkpuppet:

Wants Soul  mate........................Stalker, darkpuppet not soulmatey.
[right][snapback]165933[/snapback][/right]

Pfft. You're an admin. YOU DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!
Sold:2001 SE 2.0L SPI w/60mm TB, Steeda Shorty Intake.

Active: 2007 SES Hatch, Motegi MR7 Rims with 215/45ZR17 Michelin Pilot Super Sport Tires, debadged, black painted calipers and drums, RS Knob, CFM Short Throw, Billet E-Brake, CFM Focus pedals, MBRP Exhaust, XCal2, FS Front and Rear Strut Tower Bars, Diamond Plate Floor Mats and Sills, Alpine MP3 Deck, Alpine V-Power 300w Amp, Pioneer IMPP Sub, AlpineType-S door speakers, VF Engineering Rear Motor Mount, F2 RS Spoiler, Tokico D-spec shocks, HTP Cross Brace, EBC Rotors, Hawk HPS Pads, Russell SS Brake Lines, RS Wheel, SVT Blue Seats, Vibrant 2.5" Race Highflow Cat, CFM UDP. Rear SVT bumper to come.

Active: 2005 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited TJ [LJ], Volant CAI, 32" BFG Mud Terrains, and a whole bunch of goodies. Big Grin
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#12
darkpuppet,Jan 19 2006, 04:13 PM Wrote:no, not really, just beating meford to the keyboard is all... :P
[right][snapback]165939[/snapback][/right]



Hmmm, where is meford today anyway?
05 Altima SE-R
98 Grand Cherokee 5.9: Flowmaster; K&N
05 300C 5.7: Sold
99 Civic SIR: Sold
03 Focus SVT: Sold
01 Focus ZX3: Sold
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#13
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Turbo arrived!
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#14
Haha That was f***in awesome :lol:

Professional...........................Bitch, does it make a difference? :lol:
My Mom Says I'm Special
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