[torradan]

So I get my W-2 form from work yesterday (The paper that tells my income, taxes paid, etc that gets submitted to the IRS with my tax forms.. not sure what you guys call 'em).

So, seeing as how I'm married now.. I decided to give them a call, since marking the Single box won't work. Plus, I don't want to get audited.

After losing 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back talking to useless drones, I'm that much more confused. The one guy flat out told me.. "If you asked more specific questions, I could help you better". (It reminded me of that hologram in "I, Robot"!) I told him flat out what was going on, that i'm doing the best I can, and if I knew what questions to ask, I would ask them. I spelled out the whole marriage and everything.

1) I'm American
2) My wife is Canadian
3) She doesn't have a Social Security Number (your SIN I guess)
4) She doesn't live in the US
5) She doesn't work in the US
6) She doesn't pay taxes to the IRS.

All I got back was "read publication blahblahblah, publication blahblahblah, and publication blahblahblah". Which may as well be written in Sanskrit for all the sense they make to me.

I asked him.."Here is a specified question: Do I file single or married since she isn't a citizen/resident here?" His answer? Answer a question with a question, of course! "Were you married on December 31, 2006?".. I answer "Yes". Then he says "Then you file married, either joint or separate returns". So I ask how.. "Well, you use her income statements on your taxes". So after another 10 minutes of back and forth, I started to get really heated and asked for a supervisor. Who turned out to be equally useless. So I thanked her and her staff (except for one person, who was very polite, but honestly didn't know how to answer this this and sent me to someone who could help -- I gave the supervisor her name and ID number) for not helping and confusing me even more, I hung up, grabbed a beer, and called H&R Block.

Now, in all of the legalese that I listened to for the 90 minutes, which went over my head, I think I gleaned the following:
1) We need to apply to get her an ITIN number. Which is similar to a SSN/SIN, but only used for taxes preparation.
2) We put her income on my taxes, but it gets credited back.
3) I'm paying someone to do my taxes this year.

Needless to say, I'm going to H&R Block today. I told the nice lady who answered the phone "I just spent 90 minutes on the phone with the IRS".. she replied, "and you're still sane?" She was extremely friendly and helpful. Made an appointment for today, and they have someone from an H&R Block Canada whom I'll be speaking to. I'll also be asking how Michelle needs to file this year too, and what BS we have to go through with your equivalent of the IRS.

JFC. I need another beer.