[focusracer]

I feel your pain man, last year I had 6 deaths in 4 weeks in the spring, altogether last year I went to 9 funerals, one wedding, went through absolute living f'n hell with a bitch (sorry ladies who may read this but that's about the nicest thing I can muster up about her) unfortunately still going through some hell with her. Almost died due to an error in prescribed medications, had 16 stress fractures in my foot resulting in losing a job (which in the long run ended up pretty good because I've got a way better job now). Went through a severe amount of depression for a good chunk of last year that had me staring at the bottom of probably a hundred bottles of JD and Crown over the spring/summer.

I vowed on New Years Eve that it was going to a way better year, started off pretty good, started dating a really cool girl on New Years Eve, taking it slowly but it's good. She's making me realize that not all women are evil. I'm really glad to have her right now. I just found out on Saturday that one of my best friends killed himself on New Years day. I talked to him on the 31st, he was really up in spirits, his divorce had just been finalized the 2nd week of December, his job was going great etc. I'd invited him to the bar I dj at for the night but he said he had plans. I never caught onto anything being wrong at all. I have to speak at his funeral on Wed, as per his Dad's request but I'm not sure what to say, I have a hard time with suicide, I mean, really, can it be that bad? I guess for some it can but s***, you know. I guess just remember the good times, the laughs etc. At least we're having the wake at a hall and we are able to drink so I can quote a little Tupac and "Pour out a little liquor." I think a couple bottles of Hennesy to go around would be good.

Wow, went on a little there. Sorry folks, I guess I had to vent a bit.