[naz]

so.. about your job stuff.. i dont know how else to put this without sounding like a big f$#king a$$ hat.. esp since we don't know each other in person.. but i'm going to type it anyway... i actually mean this as real advice.. not criticism or judgement in anyway

as a bit of background i work in mgmt consulting.. now in sales/marketing strategy, but used to be in IT implementation (design/deploy type stuff) in the financial service industry. i was a 'tech lead' 'project lead' etc etc diff places call it diff things

but the point is.. that 'tech/project lead' position is very visible, both internally (your team and rest of your co) and your clients... and most of the time its visible to ppl who don't know sh!t all about tech.. for example.. i would typically meet clients with the rest of my proj team to understand their requirements and we would go 'back to the lab' and code stuff up

because of the visible nature of the project it was sort of an unspoken thing that people who dress nice, look nice, have a huge rack etc were sometimes chosen over people who were like.. technically more proficient but had less social skills, presentation skills, or just flat out did not look nice..

i dont know what its like in your co.. but where i used to work ppl who were socially inept, did not groom properly, etc were kept 'in the lab' (ie as straight up developers and not client facing)

so to make a long ramble short.. i recommend that you perform an honest assessment of yourself.. the key question being "if i was the partner of this firm, would i want that person in front of my clients? would that person be taken seriously" and consider all aspects (appearance, social skill etc) not just straight up tech skill

also, you can always consider leaving. nothing wrong with peacing out if you have been treated unfairly.. you'll usually get more $ too when you jump ship

anyway.. hope that is helpful.. i'm sorry if this came off the wrong way