[darkpuppet]

Through the eyes of Darkpuppet:

FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.................................I'm in!

Adventurous............................Slept with everyone, and won't sleep with darkpuppet.

Athletic...............................No breasts, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Average looking........................Moooo, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Beautiful..............................Pathological liar, and won't sleep with darkpuppet

Emotionally Secure.....................On medication, might date darkpuppet

Feminist...............................Fat, won't date darkpuppet

Free spirit............................Junkie, wants $40 to date darkpuppet

Friendship first.......................Former slut, soon to go back to slutting, but not until darkpuppet get's denied.

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places, darkpuppet no wanna date!

Old-fashioned..........................No BJs, but will sleep with everyone except darkpuppet

Open-minded............................Desperate, but not THAT desperate

Outgoing...............................Loud and Embarrassing, yet still embarrassed by darkpuppet

Professional...........................Bitch, does it make a difference?

Voluptuous.............................Very Fat, only wants dinner.

Large frame............................Hugely Fat, still won't date darkpuppet.

Wants Soul mate........................Stalker, darkpuppet not soulmatey.