[2001 ZTS]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a
new definition. Here are this
year's (2005) winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house,which renders the
subject financially impotent for
an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to
start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the
near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's, like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And
then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good
for you.