[Raine]

Washington, D.C. -- Congress today announced that the Office of President of the United States will be outsourced overseas as of October 30th, the end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to save $400 K a year in salary, and a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

"The cost savings will be quite significant," says Congressman Adam Smith (D.-Wash), who, with the aid of the Congressional research arm, the General Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply can no longer afford this level of outlay and remain competitive on the world stage," Congressman Smith said.

Exporting American jobs has been a popular trend lately, ironically at the urging of President Bush.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination of his position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary until his final day of employment. After that, with a two-week waiting period, he will then be eligible for 240 dollars a week from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks. Unfortunately, he will not be able to receive Texas state Medicaid health insurance coverage as his unemployment benefits exceed the maximum income that qualifies for such coverage.

"I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought for sure I'd have some job security around this here place. I have no idea what I'll do now," he further lamented.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the Office of President of the United States as of September: Mr. Singh will receive a salary of $320 a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the time difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh
will be working primarily at night, when offices of the US Government will also soon be open.

"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day job at the Sprint Technical Support Center. I always knew I could be President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be fully aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A Congressional spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to follow which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized as these scripting tools have already been used previously by Mr. Bush here in the USA." Such
scripts will enable Mr. Singh continue to provide an answer "without having to actually fully understand the issue itself."

Congress continues to explore further possible cost-cutting relating to the Supreme Court and Pentagon. "Why should any western government pay high salaries to figureheads when their duties can easily be performed on movie sets in Calcutta?" said Mr. Smith.

[crazikev]

lol, hahahahave
"already been used previously by Mr. Bush here in the USA." Such
scripts will enable Mr. Singh continue to provide an answer "without having to actually fully understand the issue itself."

lol, it had me until the 4th paragraph