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Friday Political Joke
#1
Are you a Federal Liberal, Federal Conservative or an Alberta Conservative?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.....
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Colt .45 Automatic, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Federal Liberal's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the Colt have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Federal Conservative's Answer: BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alberta Conservative's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Reload), BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
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#2
:lol: Looks like I'm an Alberta Conservative. Now where's my $400 Resource Rebate cheque? Oh yeah, I'd have to live in Alberta to benefit from the price of oil.
Old enough to know me limit, yet young enough to exceed it.
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#3
Can't carry automatic weapons. They're a prohibited weapon in Canada.

Even a semi-automatic .45 is restricted. There's soo much bulls*** you have to do even to take it out of the box.

And even if you were carrying a colt 45, why?? Carry one of those new 50cal Magnums.

5 shots, each blows a hole the size of a basketball in human flesh.
Sold:2001 SE 2.0L SPI w/60mm TB, Steeda Shorty Intake.

Active: 2007 SES Hatch, Motegi MR7 Rims with 215/45ZR17 Michelin Pilot Super Sport Tires, debadged, black painted calipers and drums, RS Knob, CFM Short Throw, Billet E-Brake, CFM Focus pedals, MBRP Exhaust, XCal2, FS Front and Rear Strut Tower Bars, Diamond Plate Floor Mats and Sills, Alpine MP3 Deck, Alpine V-Power 300w Amp, Pioneer IMPP Sub, AlpineType-S door speakers, VF Engineering Rear Motor Mount, F2 RS Spoiler, Tokico D-spec shocks, HTP Cross Brace, EBC Rotors, Hawk HPS Pads, Russell SS Brake Lines, RS Wheel, SVT Blue Seats, Vibrant 2.5" Race Highflow Cat, CFM UDP. Rear SVT bumper to come.

Active: 2005 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited TJ [LJ], Volant CAI, 32" BFG Mud Terrains, and a whole bunch of goodies. Big Grin
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#4
Though the action of a Colt 45 is in fact "semi" (one round/pull of the trigger) pistols with magazines are usually refered to as "automatics" because the recoiling slide "automatically" re-cocks the hammer and loads the next round.

As for the test, I am a Federal Conservative with a sense of humour because I would have said something sensitive like:

"just lika a ___________, bringing a knife to a gun fight"

before I squeezed one off.
2001 Focus ZTS 2004 WRX
"I'm just here for the camping"
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TEAM P.I.T.A. FTW!
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#5
I'd have my dog if I was walking on a dark street. And well.... knife weelding immigrant vs THE MAC= Owned. :P :lol:
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#6
good thing I don't own a gun

no really

those on ignore would be :twak: :yikes:
TEAM PITA Don't settle for a wannabe, only accept the real deal.

One day I will rule the world. For now, I have to settle for this place.
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#7
If I'm an expert shot, I take out the hand holding the knife and if he keeps charging... well, ever seen "Monty Python & the Holy Grail"? :rofl:

NefCanuck
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#8
Whenever I am confronted by fanatical terrorists on the mean streets of East York I always ask myself:

"What would Chuck Norris do in this situation?"
2001 Focus ZTS 2004 WRX
"I'm just here for the camping"
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=687620231
TEAM P.I.T.A. FTW!
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#9
no offence but stupid joke.
I was the only member on this board with a Yellow Focus Sedan, and a 2002+ Euro Facelift on a sedan.
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#10
He's a n00b terrorist. Every one of those guys you ever read about brings a plane. Duh.

You forgot the "Ontario resident" - we'd throw him a welfare cheque and keys to a subsidized apartment. Problem solved... he gets the apartment for him and his twenty "brothers" to crash in, and the cheque goes overseas to Al Qaeda. That's the Ontario way.
Daily driver 1: 2007 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport "S"

33" BFG Mud-Terrain KM2s, lots of Rough Country gear - bumper, 2.5" lift, swaybar disconnects, Superwinch 10,000lb winch, Detroit Locker in rear D44 axle, custom exhaust, K+N filtercharger, Superchips-tuned.

Daily driver 2: 2006 Subaru Legacy GT

COBB Stage 1+ package - AccessPort tuner, COBB intake and airbox. Stage 2 coming shortly - COBB 3" AT stainless DP and race cat, custom 3" Magnaflow-based exhaust and Stage 2 COBB tune.
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