[microbunny]

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So, she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear:
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,big
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I
told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her
for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all,
dear. Let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"




...Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....